A Zackless Weekend

I have a confession to make.... I border on being a smothering mother.  You know.. one of THOSE mothers that lives through their kid and has no identity of her own! 


Now, I am not THAT bad.... but I confess that I LOVE having my kids around... all the time.  When C.J. and Jon were little, they were my companions.... my husband (at the time) and I got along so poorly and he struggled with anxieties coupled with anger control...well...he just wasn't that much fun to be around.  So, I did a lot with the boys alone while their father did his own thing.  No wonder our marriage didn't work, huh? 


If possible, my bond with Zack is even stronger!   You see, by the time he came along, I was already divorced and while C.J. and Jon were on their visitations, Zack and I had a lot of alone time.  Zack was MINE and I didn't have to share him with anybody... and through the years I would fondly call him "my shadow". 


As he grew older, he has begun spending periods of time with C.J. and Jon's dad and this is where my stuggle begins.  My dual personality struggles with the thought of being without him... all the while knowing that this is what makes him happy...very happy...very,very happy!


So, as a mother I put his feelings first.  I set aside my nueroticism (probably not even a word) and let him go... but I still miss him like crazy!


Anyway, this morning I dropped Zack off by Chris for probably the weekend and tonight they are going to the Orlando Magic game.  This is all he has talked about for days!  I will manage to survive the weekend with my parents, my sister, and the nutty dog!