My Ten Funniest Teacher Moments - # 1-5

One of the best parts of my job is that children are so unpredictable in what they say or do. 

There are things that my student's did or said that still make me laugh out loud - so I thought I'd share some of them here.  They are in no particular order. 

#1 - One of my first grade student's came into class one day and she was upset because her parents had gotten a new bed and had not gotten one for her.  I sat with her for a few minutes and explained that her parents must have really needed the new bed and that sometime throughout the day she should try to be happy for them.  Fast forward about 1/2 hour and I have 18 little 1st graders bowing their heads in prayer with their little eyes closed and their little hands folded and this little girl speaks up..."Dear God, I hope that my mom and dad have a good time with their new bed." Of course none of the first graders even flinched but I was holding back a laugh like you wouldn't believe.  

#2 - I had my first graders cleaning out their desks for the end of the school year.  One of my little boys, who was very intelligent, had something sticky on his desktop.  So as I'm feeling the stickiness 
Me:  "Joey, what is this all over your desk that is so sticky?"
Joey: "I don't really know but I think it's the humility."  

#3 -My first grade class and I were discussing Mother Teresa because she was being highlighted in a Weekly Reader edition.  It mentioned that she did a lot of work with people who have AIDS.  Of course one of my students asks, "what is AIDS?"  As I am getting set to answer this question, one of my little girls has her hand raised and is about to jump out of her seat.  I called on her thinking maybe she could explain it on a 1st grade level and the kids would understand better.  
Me: "Yes Katie"
Katie: "My neighbor has aids"
Me: Oh no, I am sorry to hear that"
Katie: "Yeah...he has one in each ear because he can't hear too well.

#4 - As a few of my fourth graders were standing around my desk one day, we got to talking about nicknames.  I was sharing with them what my nickname was when I was little and they were sharing their nicknames with me.  One of my little girl's suddenly says, "oh...do you know what my brother's nickname is? We call him butt head because when he was born his butt came out first instead of his head."

#5 - I was presenting a lesson to the 3rd graders on the baptism of Jesus.  The lesson highlighted the Bible verse that goes, "this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased."
One of the boys had not studied the verse for the test that day so he couldn't recite it to me.  I felt sure with a little prompting he would figure it out so I gave him this prompt (but I said it a little quietly)
Me: "This is my beloved..."
Boy:  "This is my oven?  This is my oven and stove?"