Empathy

Such a little word but it encompasses so much of person's character.  One of the greatest christian attributes we can have is the capacity to emotinally insert ourselves into another person's feelings. 

Being an early childhood educator, it has always intrigued me how and when a peson develops this part of their character.  For me it is the quintessential nature vs. nurture dillema.

Are some just born with an innate ability to identify with the feelings of others?  Or is it something that must be concsiously taught at home and school?  Or, perhaps, a little of both.

I wasn't going to sit back and bank on the nature theory, so I have always tried very hard to teach my children how to respect the feelings of others.  In my household, it was always feelings first...material things second.  (That  backfired a bit as the boys grew up and were a bit careless with material things - but that is a whole other post.)

So, when I can visually see that one of my sons is showing empathy...it makes me want to do cartwheels across the floor...except that I'd probably break several bones in my body ...so I refrain from actually doing that.  But that doesn't stop me from envisioning it in my head!

Zack has always been my most sensitive child (cry at the drop of a hat sensitive) so he is probably the one that visually displays the most empathy.  Not to take anything away from my other two sons, who are just more reserved about showing their feelings.

A perfect example would be Friday at the funeral.  Now, Zack has really only been to two funerals - my grandpa and my grandmas - and he cried at both...but I thought that was because he was close to them. Obviously not! Because after the service on Friday, Zack began a waterworks display that lasted at least five minutes.  I am talking about a sobbing, heaving, clutching-on-to-me, bury-his-head-in-my-shoulder cry.  And as he cried he kept saying to me, "I hardly even knew him.  I don't know why I am crying." 

I told him..."that is empathy, my son. You are watching everyone else cry and are identifying with their sadness.  It is a wonderful gift to possess."

Makes me proud!!!