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September 19, 2013…the day I started taking Tramadol…a day that is forever ingrained in my mind because it was such a life changing event for me. 

During the summer of 2013, I was downing at least 4-5 Lortab every day (and wishing I could take more).  I spent quite a bit of time thinking that I needed to see a doctor for the never-ending pain only to remember that I was already taking some pretty strong pain medication.  I watched the clock and took the Lortab religiously reasoning that if I was in that much pain while taking the pain medication, I would be far worse off without it.  My ever present pain was a constant reminder to take the pills. I was going through a container of Icy Hot every week slathering it on my arms, legs, shoulders, and back nightly. 

By September 2013, I had begun filling out paperwork to apply for disability.  It wasn’t fair to the students when I got upset because they needed help and I had to get up and walk across the room.  Always a well-liked teacher, I gained a new reputation for being a (w)itch.  And, worst of all, depression had really begun to set in.  When physical pain is your constant companion, there is not much in life to look forward to or enjoy. 

I went through the daily motions hiding the pain from those around me as best I could. No one wants to be around a person who only talks about how rotten they feel and, worst yet, I didn't want to come across as a hypochondriac.

As I said, Tramadol was life changer for me.  Here I am, nearly two-and-a-half years later, completely pain free. I set alarms when it’s time to take my medication because the pain is not there to remind me.  I haven’t bought a single jar of Icy Hot since the Tramadol.  I lost nearly 20 pounds because I could actually walk and move and exist without pain. 

So…what is the point of this post?

I saw my new doctor today.  She explained to me that in Florida, Tramadol is considered a controlled substance and needs to be prescribed through a pain clinic.  She said that even if her office would be able (or willing) to prescribe it, it would only be for 2x a day.  Two years ago, I began at 4x a day and am currently taking it 6x a day so that is no help at all. 

We spent some time exploring other options but since medications filtered through the liver are out, there are very few options. One being Gabapentin and another one being Cymbalta. 

I got the referral for the pain clinic and now wait for insurance approval.  It’s not that Cymbalta doesn’t interest me, and I also belong to a Fibromyalgia group that have some interesting ideas, but the point is…why mess around with something that is working? 

I fully realize that a time will come when I will be maxed out on the amount of Tramadol I take, the pain will come back, and I will be forced to explore other options.  But for now, this works!  Am I wrong for not wanting to create problems where none exist?  Am I wrong for not wanting to stop taking something that works (and works well) to explore medications that may or may not work? Am I wrong for not wanting to put myself in a position of possibly having to endure the kind of pain I experienced that summer of 2013?

I have a lot to think about.