September 19, 2013…the day I started taking Tramadol…a day
that is forever ingrained in my mind because it was such a life changing event
for me.
During the summer of 2013, I was downing at least 4-5 Lortab
every day (and wishing I could take more).
I spent quite a bit of time thinking that I needed to see a doctor for
the never-ending pain only to remember that I was already taking some pretty
strong pain medication. I watched the
clock and took the Lortab religiously reasoning that if I was in that much pain
while taking the pain medication, I would be far worse off without it. My ever present pain was a constant reminder to
take the pills. I was going through a container of Icy Hot every week slathering
it on my arms, legs, shoulders, and back nightly.
By September 2013, I had begun filling out paperwork to
apply for disability. It wasn’t fair to
the students when I got upset because they needed help and I had to get up and
walk across the room. Always a
well-liked teacher, I gained a new reputation for being a (w)itch. And, worst of all, depression had really
begun to set in. When physical pain is
your constant companion, there is not much in life to look forward to or
enjoy.
I went through the daily motions hiding the pain from those
around me as best I could. No one wants to be around a person who only talks
about how rotten they feel and, worst yet, I didn't want to come across as a
hypochondriac.
As I said, Tramadol was life changer for me. Here I am, nearly two-and-a-half years later,
completely pain free. I set alarms when it’s time to take my medication because
the pain is not there to remind me. I
haven’t bought a single jar of Icy Hot since the Tramadol. I lost nearly 20 pounds because I could
actually walk and move and exist without pain.
So…what is the point of this post?
I saw my new doctor today.
She explained to me that in Florida, Tramadol is considered a controlled
substance and needs to be prescribed through a pain clinic. She said that even if her office would be
able (or willing) to prescribe it, it would only be for 2x a day. Two years ago, I began at 4x a day and am
currently taking it 6x a day so that is no help at all.
We spent some time exploring other options but since medications filtered through the liver are out, there are very few options. One
being Gabapentin and another one being Cymbalta.
I got the referral for the pain clinic and now wait for
insurance approval. It’s not that
Cymbalta doesn’t interest me, and I also belong to a Fibromyalgia group that
have some interesting ideas, but the point is…why mess around with something
that is working?
I fully realize that a time will come when I will be maxed
out on the amount of Tramadol I take, the pain will come back, and I will be
forced to explore other options. But for
now, this works! Am I wrong for not
wanting to create problems where none exist?
Am I wrong for not wanting to stop taking something that works (and
works well) to explore medications that may or may not work? Am I wrong for not
wanting to put myself in a position of possibly having to endure the kind of
pain I experienced that summer of 2013?
I have a lot to think about.
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