I Couldn't Make This Stuff Up

Today I left my apartment at 9:00 a.m. and got back at 2:00 p.m. and the only thing I managed to get accomplished is picking up Zack's immunization records from "his" school.  

Florida requires your child's vaccination records to be transferred to a form from the state.  Why they do this?  I simply have no idea except that it costs $10.00 to do this so, apparently, they could do it because they want the money.  

In my perfect world I thought I could get that done this morning and take Zack this afternoon to be registered so he could attend school tomorrow.  Ha!  Clearly I am delusional.  

Here is a run down of today's drama:

Freedom High School

9:15 - I arrived at Freedom High School, signed in, picked up a name tag, and went to the Guidance Office where I waited...and waited...and waited.
9:40 - My name is finally called so I stated my business
Me:"I'm here to pick up my son's immunization records."
Lady:"Did you call ahead of time?"
Me: "No"
Lady: "I won't be able to do that today...I'm too busy."

Luckily I had the foresight to determine she thought I was requesting the information from an 'existing' record.

Me: "No, he is not a registered student yet. The record was faxed last week."
Lady:"Oh, all registering is being done in the PAC.  The fax will be there.

Great...

A 5 minute walk and another 15 minute wait...and lo and behold...his record was there.  The only thing that actually went as planned today.  

10:10 - I jump in the car, stop by the bank to cash a check, and set off for Orlando Department of Health.  Here's the thing: there are many listings for the Orlando Department of Health so before I left I googled them, picked the one that said 'deals with student's records' and plugged the address into my garmin.  


10:30 - Arrive at the Orlando Department of Health and drive around 5 minutes looking for a place to park before finally deciding to park in a parking lot across the street.  

10:40 - Arrive at the front desk.  The receptionist is on the phone so I just wait patiently for her to acknowledge me.

Lady: "Hello, can I help you?"

Me: "Hi. I need to have my son's immunization records transferred."

Lady:"We don't do that here."

And then she picks up the phone again and takes her call off hold.  But I refused to move until I received a satisfactory answer from her. After a few minutes she got the clue.

Lady: "You have to take those to the downtown Orlando office"

Me: "And where is that?"

She gives me the address which I quickly write down. 

Me: "thank you"

10:55 - back in the car and plug the new address in the garmin

On the plus side I drove past the Orlando City Soccer Stadium - they are a really huge deal here in Orlando 


11:25 - arrive at the designated health department.  The parking situation is much better.

11:30 - Walk in and am instructed where to go. Another line to wait in.

11:50 - My turn

Lady: "How can I help you?"

Me: "Hi. I need to have my son's immunization records transferred."

Lady: "Okay. Do you have your ID?"

Me: "Yes" Take it out and show it to her

Lady: "Okay. Do you have the child's birth certificate?"

Me: "Uh...no. Is that needed?"

Lady: "Yes. We need the birth certificate.  The original not a copy."


Grrr.....I can't believe this

12:05 - back in my car and a 20 minute drive home. While home I grab a quick snack and take Ollie for a walk. 

1:00 - back in the car and drive back to the designated health department with birth certificate in hand.

1:20 - arrive, park, and get in line all over again.

1:45 - My turn *big sigh*

Me: for the 3rd time today "Hi. I need to have my son's immunization records transferred."

Man: "Sorry, ma'am.  We are done doing that today."

Me: "Say What?"

Man: "We are finished doing that for today."

Me: "What do you mean you're done...you're open for 3 more hours."

Man: "Yes, but we only process 40 of those a day." 

Me:"Excuse me? Seriously? Why do you stop at 40?"

Man: "We only have two people working on those."

Me: "Okay...that doesn't really answer my question. Why do you stop at 40 when you're still open for THREE MORE HOURS???!!!" 

As this news spread and I heard collective groaning behind me, I realized that I was not the only one in this boat.  There were four people behind me waiting for the same thing. 

Me:  "This is madness. One would think you would continue processing these requests ALL DAY! Especially when school has already started and all these kids are already missing their first day and now will be missing their second day too!"  

At this point, if he had a gun, I think he would have used it on me.  

Bring on tomorrow!