A Time To Move On

I have mentioned before that we are making a big move back to Florida this summer but I haven't exactly elaborated on the reasons behind it.

At this point, there is exactly a 100% chance that the move will happen and I don't see anything happening that would change that status.

Let me say that as much as I HATE Wisconsin winters and cold weather and the like...I had every intention of staying here.  I love my job.  I love the  school.  I love that Zack is getting a great Christian education.  I love that he has so many friends.  I love the people I work with.  And I love the many wonderful friends I have here. 

What I don't love is the home environment my children are living in.  My husband doesn't love my kids...but then, I never really expected him to.  I did, however, expect him to like them and treat them well and treat them with respect.  But he doesn't.  Never has.  Me-yes...them-no

We have lived as a family - my boys and me - despite the poor treatment they get from him and things have been okay.  

CJ and Jon were older when they met my husband.  And while I think they endured far more than they should have had to...they were secure already.  They felt loved and appreciated and were secure in the knowledge that, despite what this one person thought of them, they had many other people in their life who loved them and gave them a feeling of self-worth.

Zack, however, was only five.  He has grown up in a household where he feels unloved and unwanted (by one of the occupants) and it has recently begun to devastate him. He is angry and that anger scares me.  I, of course, do my best to remind him often of all the people in his life who do love him.

But the sad truth is that the time has come where it is more detrimental for him to stay in this environment than it is for me to pull him out of school and move across the country...SAD...I KNOW!

I don't know what will happen with hubby and me in the future.  For now, I am going to try staying together and just living apart.  But  I'd be lying if I said this whole situation hasn't hurt me immensely.  I just pray that I can reconcile that hurt and still be around him.  

It sucks airing dirty laundry like this but, hey, it's real folks.  It's our reality. And I've had to suck in my pride and tell many of my co-workers what our "reality" is.  I guess, on the positive side, the more people praying for us and our situation, the better.